The Gift of the Twin Houses Page 23

  Conrad nodded. “You have what Grandma Angela had: sincere interest in people. It comes with your abilities. I’m sure that’s why you became a teacher. You care.”

  After I reflected on Conrad’s assertion, I arrived at the same conclusion. I enjoyed teaching because it allowed me to share knowledge.

  And yet, here I was keeping a secret that concerned them all, because it was not mine to share.

  We took our desserts, milk, and hot cocoa to the living room to partake in another of my family’s Christmas Eve traditions, to open one present we’d placed for one another under the tree. Elan and Nina chose which present we would each open with a little coaxing from their parents.

  The joy on their little faces turned out to be the best gift of all. After we each got our present, Nina decided to sit on my lap and open hers and help me open mine. I think she enjoyed opening the presents more than the presents themselves.

  Our gifts were simple but filled with meaning. Tom and Alyana gave me a splendidly crafted dream catcher decorated with beautiful feathers and beads.

  “For your bedroom, Mama,” little Nina said.

  “Do you know what it does?”

  She nodded and continued playing with her own present, a little doll her mother had sewn that wore the exact same dress Nina was wearing.

  “There you have it, Mama.” Alyana chuckled. “Aren’t children precious on how they relate to us? You asked if she knew what it did, and she told you she did. In her little mind, she answered. No need to say more.”

  “Don’t you wish we didn’t lose that clarity as we grow older?” I asked. “Anyway, I’d still like to know more about the dream catcher.”

  “Dream catchers,” Alyana answered, “are a symbol of unity among the various First Nations. Many say that over the years they’ve been overcommercialized, so some of my people don’t use them anymore. In the old times, they were created by hand, making a hoop from the branch of a willow and then weaving a net in the middle that looks like a web. Handmade dream catchers, like this one, are made with sacred feathers and stones. The ones you see in the stores that are mass produced just have trinkets.”

  “This one was made by an elder in Alyana’s tribe just for you newlyweds,” Tom said. “Alyana told her all about you guys, and she made it for you and Papa to hang over your bed in your new bedroom.”

  “It’ll catch all the bad dreams and only let the good ones through. We’ll always wake up happy and content with each other and the world around us,” Conrad added, and winked at me.

  The dream catcher was not only stunning but a symbol of the greatest gift of all: the opportunity for me to learn from Alyana about the First Nations of our region, their traditions, beliefs, and spirituality. I had so much to look forward to.

  Tom and Alyana gave Conrad a letter with the offer of a two-week vacation away from the store after the wedding. He smiled mischievously at me, and of course, I blushed.

  Elan’s gift was a book I’d chosen for him. He loved to have stories read to him, and I thought that giving him a book with the stories of Mother Goose would pay homage to his great-grandmother Angela. After all, she’d chosen this book as one of the two books she took with her when she left home at fourteen, and I could only imagine how much she must’ve loved the stories within it. Reading them with Elan would bring a bit of Angela closer to us.

  Tom and Alyana’s gift was a bonus check from Conrad. It must’ve been much more than they expected because all Tom could do was shake his head, hug his father, and hold on tight to Alyana’s hand. She in turn cried. I hadn’t seen her cry before, but I knew her tears were tears of joy and love for my future husband. What a treat to witness the love they all shared with one another.

  After we finished dessert and opening our presents, the grandchildren were happy to go home, eager to go to bed in anticipation of the arrival of Santa Claus.

  Conrad and I eased into our evening routine of recounting our day as we washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen.

  “Now that I have a two-week vacation, where do you want to go for our honeymoon? Want to go to Boston?”

  “Are you kidding? When do we leave?”

  “We need to get married first in order to have a honeymoon.”

  “I meant how soon after the wedding, you silly man.”

  “I know what you meant. I get a kick out of teasing you. I like the little crease that pops up on your forehead. You look cute.” He kissed my forehead. “Anyway, I think we’ll have the kids moved into their new home a couple of days after Christmas. Tom and I have talked about closing the store to make the move in one day. Deidre and Sophia will have arrived. So barring any surprises, we can leave the first day of the New Year.”

  “Great!”

  “Are you up for a train ride? We can go from Seattle to Boston. I like the idea of being cooped up with you in a train. We’ll spend some time there so you can show me your old stomping grounds.”

  “You’ve thought of everything. It sounds perfect.” This time, I kissed him.

  Our honeymoon started that very evening as we slept under the protection of our dream catcher on the bed that once belonged to the woman who’d brought us together. We were both tired, the kind of exhaustion that comes from giving oneself completely to the demands of a day filled with excitement and new discoveries. Our lovemaking, in response to the fatigue of our bodies, was tender and soothing. We were so at ease with each other that, without a word, our actions, strokes, and responses became one. Long gentle kisses and delicate caresses showed the way to a togetherness of immense pleasure as if we were cradled by tranquil ocean waves swaying into peaks of ecstasy.

  We fell asleep in each other’s arms.

  Christmas day turned out to be just as magical as the day before. I’d gotten up around four thirty to bake the muffins and pastries. I felt in tune with the house and her happiness to have celebrated Christmas Eve with us. The silence of the early morning of Christmas day enthralled me, and I felt embraced by the warmth of my house. Conrad must have sensed that I needed that time to myself because he didn’t put up much resistance when I left our bed. He was right; with the arrival of Deidre and Sophia, my turmoil about their secret had increased, and I needed to think. I still had no idea how to handle it. I could only hope that Angela would lend me a helping hand.

  Conrad and I arrived at Alyana and Tom’s small rental house around seven thirty in the morning with freshly baked muffins and breakfast pastries. Even though there were many boxes packed and ready to move into their new home, we were quite comfortable.

  Alyana brewed coffee and made hot cocoa. Conrad always arrived this early to make sure he’d be there when his grandchildren woke up and ran into the living room to see what surprises awaited them under the Christmas tree. His recollection of their little faces lighting up with the wonder of what awaited them under the wrapped presents was infectious, and I couldn’t wait to be a part of that. It filled me with excitement and anticipation. I’d never experienced the look of a child facing the magical surprise of the overnight visit by Santa Claus.

  An hour later, the faces of our grandchildren entering the living room and discovering the presents under the tree turned out to be as marvelous as Conrad had described it. The sparkle of happiness, wonder, and marvel in their little faces saturated the entire household. We shared their exhilaration as we each opened a present, one at a time, taking turns as everyone watched, and rejoiced in the gift that each received. It felt as if we all had received many gifts.

  Nina loved unwrapping presents so much that she got to do it for all of us. It was great fun to watch her face fill with anticipation to see what was hidden under the wrap, and then she would excitedly tell us what was inside before she finished tearing off the paper. Her descriptions were delightfully funny.

  The rest of the day was filled with the enjoyment of being together, playing games, having fun out in the snow, great food, and packing as much as we could in preparation for the move into their new
home.

  The day after Christmas turned out to be a busy one at the store for Tom and Conrad and just as hectic for Alyana and me as we packed the family for the move. Conrad promised the little ones that he would move the Christmas tree without having to take it down, so we carefully wrapped it in bed linens. By the end of the day, the entire family was worn out but also exhilarated with the prospect of the move.

  Early the next day, we were ready to start packing our cars and trucks when friends showed up. Unexpectedly, every single person who had come to visit us on Christmas Eve came to assist us with the move. With their help we moved our little family to their new home in less than four hours. The men took care of loading and moving all the boxes and furniture, while the women helped unpack and got everything ready in the house.

  We focused on the kitchen first, knowing that by lunchtime we would all be starving. Everyone had brought their Christmas leftovers, and we celebrated the first meal in Tom and Alyana’s new home with great friends and a wonderful variety of delicious foods.

  By the end of the day, all the boxes were unpacked, the furniture was all in place, and Tom, Alyana, and the children were ready to comfortably spend the first night in their new home. We were all so exhausted we could barely stand.

  However, sleep didn’t come easy for me. My anxiety about the impending arrival of Deidre and Sophia kept tugging at me. I had no clarity as to whether I should reveal the visit from Casey, let alone what to do with her secret.

  Unable to sleep, I decided to take Justin’s baby blanket and the small tin can with their painful memories to the attic. Maybe together, in the silence of the night, I would learn what needed to be done.

  It was a beautiful, clear night, and the light from the moon and the stars made it easy for me to ease upstairs without the need to turn any lights and wake Conrad up. The attic was bathed in silvery tones, and as soon as I entered, it cracked its familiar welcome. I smiled, sat in the armchair, and gave us time to think and feel.

  No one came to visit, no one whispered a word, and yet all of a sudden I knew that I had to return the secret to its hiding place.

  It wasn’t easy to do so. Part of me felt that I had to keep it in the open, that Casey needed the truth to be told. But a stronger urge pressed me to conceal them again.

  I sensed that the permanent burial site for Justin’s baby blanket and the aching past of Casey and Deidre were yet to be revealed.

  Chapter 29

  The Meeting

  I stood between the fireplace and the front window staring out over the snowy valley. Conrad had left for the airport in Seattle early in the morning to retrieve Deidre and Sophia, and I expected his truck to trundle toward the house at any moment. My hands felt like ice, and I kept burying them under my armpits to keep them warm, with questionable results. The fear had permeated my being since learning they would be coming to stay with us. A fear, I now realized, born of the prospect of meeting in the flesh someone who formed an integral part of the cast of characters Angela had arranged for me to meet. Someone who, until days earlier, was no more than a tenuous figure seen in a vision that offered the comfort of knowing that its reality was far removed from the present. Now, the present was emerging from the past and coming face-to-face with me.

  All the recriminations of my childhood now resurfaced with renewed urgency. Suddenly, my family’s concerns over my special gift seemed like undeniable wisdom. Why had I come here? Why in heaven’s name had I given in to that inexplicable urge to uproot myself and come to this far corner of the world? And worst of all, why had I chosen to visit the attic and rummage through boxes of photographs of people I didn’t even know?

  I wanted to run away again, but I knew it was too late. My involvement with my house, with Conrad, with the photos, and with Angela all pointed to this moment, and I understood that with such involvement came responsibility.

  Each time I relived Casey’s revelations, a cold shiver raced across my skin. All my efforts to avoid such repetition had so far proved futile, but I kept trying. Now, as the moment of truth approached, the images raced into my mind with increased vigor. I had hoped that replacing the tin can and baby blanket under the floorboard was the right thing to do, and it would persuade the images to cease. But they persisted.

  Conrad’s truck appeared in the distance. I felt my heart race as my breathing sped up and my mouth went dry. “OK, Sarah. This is it. I hope Angela knows what she’s doing, because I sure don’t.”

  The truck pulled up a few feet from the front steps as I made my way to the door and stepped outside.

  Conrad came around to open the passenger door and flashed me a smile and a wink of reassurance as he went by.

  “Watch your step; it’s kind of icy still,” he said to Sophia, offering her the support of his hand. She was a beautiful woman, with a smile full of promise and optimism, and as she looked up at me, her eyes flashed with affection and serenity. With the urn that sheltered Casey’s ashes nestled safely under her arm, she rushed toward me. Her resemblance to Angela was astonishing.

  “Sarah. How wonderful to meet you.” The genuine joy in her voice lifted my spirits and brought a smile to my face. She embraced me without an ounce of hesitation.

  Conrad’s voice brought my attention back to the truck. “Easy now, Aunt Deidre. I got you.”

  There she stood. Tears tried to force their way into my eyes, but I pushed them back as I heard myself sigh. Tiny and frail, Deidre still had strength and resolve etched into her eyes and the weight of unlocked secrets carved into her face. She looked up at me and nodded almost imperceptibly. Conrad proffered her cane and she grasped it without removing her eyes from me. He placed his arm around her and guided her up the steps. As they reached the porch, I stepped back to give her more room.

  “Aunt Deidre—” Conrad began.

  “I know, I know,” Deidre interrupted. “This is Sarah.”

  I searched desperately for something to say. All I could muster was a feeble, “Welcome.”

  She reached up and placed her hand ever so gently upon my cheek and tears pooled into her eyes as she smiled. It was too much for me, and my own eyes flooded as I wrapped my arms around her. After a moment, I stepped back and mumbled, “Come out of the cold.”

  I pushed the door open and Conrad smiled at me again as he led her into the house. Her house. My house. Our house. I ushered Sophia in and followed close behind.

  I shut the door behind me and watched as Deidre approached the stairs and stood there, as if frozen in place, staring up the stairs toward the upper floor. Sophia handed the urn to Conrad and then touched the old woman’s elbow.

  “Are you all right, Momma?”

  Deidre nodded.

  “C’mon let’s rest a bit,” Conrad suggested, but Deidre didn’t move.

  I glanced at Conrad who seemed as lost as I about what to do next. Quietly he stepped into the living room and placed the urn on the mantle. Just as quietly he returned to the foyer.

  At long last I managed to find my voice. “Can I get you something to drink? I have some hot cocoa if you like. Or maybe some coffee?”

  Without changing her gaze, Deidre shook her head. “I have avoided this moment for far too long. I may lose my resolve if I wait any longer.” She turned to Sophia and pulled her close. “Let’s go upstairs.”

  With one hand locked onto the banister and the other on her daughter’s arm, she climbed step by painstaking step without ever looking down, the old feet remembering exactly where to land in spite of the passage of time. It was mesmerizing.

  Conrad and I were unable to decide if we should join them or not, so we remained in place as they climbed. When they reached the second floor, Deidre paused.

  “Come on up, you two. I can’t do this alone,” she said, a tremble in her voice.

  By the time we reached the attic, Sophia was helping Deidre settle into the armchair. The old woman’s eyes searched the floor for the secret hiding place.

  “I know it seems od
d, but I can’t remember which board it is,” Deidre murmured.

  Sophia placed her hand on her mother’s hands. “It’s OK. It doesn’t matter.”

  Deidre shook her head and a deep anguish colored her voice. “ It is important.. .and now I don’t know which one it is.”

  I took a deep breath and gathered all my courage. I pointed. “It’s that one.”

  The look of bewilderment on Deidre’s face made me regret my statement as soon as I’d made it. Her eyes stayed locked onto me for so long that I felt compelled to go on.

  “Casey told me. The day she died.”

  I removed the floorboard and took out the tin can and the baby blanket. I handed them to Deidre, but she held up her hands rejecting them, shaking her frail head, and looking away.

  Sophia reached out and took them. “It’s OK, Momma. We don’t have to go through this. I’ve felt the pain both you and Momma Casey experienced.”

  Conrad looked at me, perplexed, a look that pleaded with me to do something. But I didn’t know what to do or what to say without violating Casey’s trust, so I shook my head.

  Deidre looked at me and said, “She told you?”

  I nodded.

  Deidre sighed, and looking at all of us, she said, “It’s time for the whole truth.”

  “Let’s go downstairs, Aunt Deidre.” Conrad said. “We’ll be more comfortable there.”

  We did as he suggested.

  “We always intended to return,” Deidre said, taking the cup of coffee I held out to her and placing it on the table. “But, somehow, we just never did. Never even spoke of it until just before she died.” She poured a hefty spoonful of sugar into her cup and stirred it. Then, she slowly sipped her coffee before continuing. “We both hoped that if we left it alone, the pain would disappear one day.” She stopped breathing for a moment and then went on. “Of course, it never went away.”

  “I’m glad you’re here now,” Conrad said.

  “Casey asked me to bring her back. She wanted to be buried with what was left of her son, Justin.”